Relationship Tips From Someone Who Doesn't Have it Figured Out!
Happy Valentine's Day! I thought this would be the perfect time to do a relationship post. I've been in my relationship for 4 years now, and I speak for the both of us when I say we have no idea what we're doing. You don't really get a hand book on how to date, be in a relationship, or fall in love. And if you do, it's super boring, and cliche and way to fairy tale-ish. I wanted to re-do that handbook, in a real, unfiltered, and relatable way. SO.. Here are some of the things that have gotten us this far.
• Communication is HUGE! - This one is a little bit cliche but it's so, so important. There is no way a situation will get any better if you don't talk about it. Aside from just communicating when something is wrong - when things are great, talk about that too. Talk about everything, all the time.
• Chill out - Your relationship should be FUN. Joke with each other, give your partner shit, keep them on their toes. Don't be so uptight all the time. We all know that life isn't always easy, but find ways to keep your relationship happy and fun.
• Keep your relationship private - This is a big one. Keep your relationship problems TO YOURSELF! Other people don't know your relationship, so don't let them form an opinion on it. There are things that you guys will be able to get through and forgive each other for but your friends/family won't. The relationship is two people, you and him/her, so keep it that way.
• Be faithful - Self explanatory. Don't be a dick head.
• When it's broke, fix it! - My generation is known for finding replacements for things that aren't working out. I don't believe in that. If you and your partner are going through a rough patch but you BOTH WANT TO MAKE IT WORK then put in the effort and make it work! It's so easy to just break up and move on, but sticking it out and getting through it is so worth it.
• Work together - You guys are a team. Through the good things and the bad things. I'll admit it, we're guilty of sometimes fighting to win.. but that gets us no where. I've learned that when there's a problem it should never be me vs. him it should be us vs. the problem. That's the only way things will get solved, gotta tag team that shit.
• Always have each others back - Whether you are physically with each other or not, ALWAYS respect and defend your partner. There will never be a situation that I would let someone talk bad about my boyfriend in front of me and vice versa. It just won't happen. People should know not to even try it but if they don't… let them know it's not going down like that.
• Never settle - It's clear that I'm a big supporter of trying to make things work if you both still love each other. But there definitely comes a time where it's just over. You've both had enough and you need to move on. Hopefully, you have both learned how to, not only be a better partner, but just a better person all around from that experience.
• Never leave the honeymoon stage - date, flirt, keep things exciting. It's been 4 years and I still get butterflies when I know I'm gonna see my babyyyyy!
• Be 100% comfortable with each other - this has two parts.. You need to be comfortable enough to open yourself up to that person and you need to make them feel comfortable enough to open up with you. This takes time but once you get there you'll know. There will be no such thing as awkward conversations or awkward silences.
• Don't be materialistic - We see girls on Instagram getting a $3,000 purse, 45 dozen roses and a puppy for their birthday all the time. You can't expect that from your regular ass boyfriend. Sorry, not gonna happen! If he loves you, he'll show you that whether he has $5 or $5 million.
• When in doubt, channel your inner Beyoncé- Sometimes you just gotta remind him that he "ain't married to no average bitch, boy!" or get sentimental, and tell him that "it's me and you, and that's all we'll have when the world is through." All depends on your #mood, but trust... there's a Beyoncé song that fits whatever mood that is.
• Opposites attract - It's amazing to be in a relationship with someone who is so different from you. My boyfriend has opened my eyes to so many different things and opinions. I love having someone who can counteract my emotions or feelings. When I'm worked up, he'll calm me down and vice versa.
• Make sure you like the same TV shows - this one is straight from the mans mouth. This is a big one for him. If we couldn't watch every episode of the Sopranos about 4 times each, if we didn't die laughing at The Office together... would we even make it as a couple? Don't think so.
Last, but not least...
• Have fun, enjoy each other, love each other, build a bond, experience things, make each other better people, support each other. If this is your person.. make sure you have the best life possible together.
So there are our secrets! Being in this relationship and working out our kinks has been the best time of my life. Not to be too mushy gushy, you know... but love is the shit. I'm lucky to be experiencing it with someone as cool as him. I hope these help you whether it's with a current relationship, a future relationship, or realizing what may have gone wrong in a past relationship. Whoever you are, whatever your relationship status is.. single, married, slutin', divorced, sliding in DM's, whatever, enjoy your day! Eat hella chocolates! Until next time..